I fear is a topic that is fast becoming a
real challenge in our modern day lives. It is just as much linked to our fears
as it is to our health and well being. Yet it is a
complex topic as it differs to each person and interpreted differently
according to the human time cycle. It can just as much affect our private
lives as to our career. Stress cannot really be dealt with in a written page
and I would prefer to examine it through examples. The worst forms
are the ones which can lead to burn out and are commonly prescribed
in a general level as to one’s aspirations that have quickly collapsed
resulting into a lack of interest or indifference into our work. The danger is
that our defence mechanism weakens and it can turn into a depression and
deep unhappiness resulting to more harm onto yourself and perhaps even to
others around you.
In reality it can also
be associated with a cross range of topics such as work overload, or
inefficiencies, deadlines, lack of recognition in our work, work/life
balance, poor sleep and diet, rushing about not allowing time to think nor to
reflect, noise, driving, debts, high risk taking, grievances and so on. Deeper
issues such as lack of meaning in our careers and lives, resulting to general
demotivation in which in more severe cases issues of identity, beliefs and
conflicting values in you, would require redressing.
One time quite recently I had met a group of civil
servants from the European Commission. I asked them the most common difficulty
in their work place. Their response was that in general many employees
felt unrewarded in what they did. Most bright new people that entered into this
organisation came in with dreams and aspirations of perhaps the European ideal.
Nowadays this is quickly vanquished. It becomes a job for a salary. An example
they gave was some civil servants get asked by their bosses to do wonderful
projects that carry meaning for a common good or greater purpose. After many
months or longer of hard work and once the project almost comes to an end,
there’s been a change and it is all of a sudden binned before any positive
impact might come about. They say this is common practice. Not surprisingly we
can feel unrewarded. We can quickly not care and or become indifferent. For
those who try harder, this can turn to stress, unhappiness and even burnout.
How would you address this? We can address this at individual level, yet if it
is a wider problem, then issues of leadership and political governance might
have to be addressed.
Another example could be when another
person is mistreating you in business and we could look at management
ruled by fear. It could be that your manager knows that he or she pays
your salary and may feel authorised to order you around, exploit you to
his or her convenience where you could quickly fall victim. The bigger the
status this person carries, the more fearful he or she could be. These
situations can quickly turn a culture, toxic and highly stressful. Someone who
rules by fear is a reflection of weakness and cowardice from that person
therefore the problem is with him/her, not in you. Don’t allow yourself to be
bullied nor intimidated and don’t allow the problem to turn onto you.
Self-confidence, self-control and courage are much needed attributes here to
defend your own territory and integrity.
The fundamental real dangers of stress, if
not managed well, are that the mind and the body need that release mechanism
which quickly becomes empty and somehow it needs to be fulfilled to replace
this emptiness. We could lapse into some form of pleasure seeking such as
exaggerated urges of drink, sex, or online porn gambling amongst others in
some deceptive manner or denial that somehow we feel cured whilst really we
remain undervalued, each time lessening our hope for a brighter
future and a worsening of our own self-esteem. Some might become
intolerable whilst in a social environment; others might be so embarrassed in
how intolerable they are and simply close themselves up. If we were to
hear something nasty or idiotic, a common response is ‘this person has
issues’ or ‘it’s his midlife.’ In many ways you could be right but we don’t
know anything or what happened to this person.
For those who feel this could be happening
to you, try never to despair. There will always be some small flame however
small it may be that needs rekindling telling us to live and change. There are
always others, friends and family there to help you to help yourself to
redefine who and what you are. A good boss with foresight would detect
issues arising with one of the co-workers and would instantly try to identify
them and meet the needs through training or other help in order to bring this
person back to his or her potential.
From a personal level I have understood many aspects of my own earlier life stresses. Having analysed back then the root causes I came to the conclusion that my main driver in
business quickly became money and my aspirations were purely superficial. It
made me acquire very little beliefs and conviction leading to a lack of
fulfilment and confusion. Thankfully this had changed as something had to give
and I began to understand that life had a greater meaning and of purpose which
in turn had a positive impact in my behaviour and my actions.
How would I advise an unexpected stressful situation? I would advise the importance of creating an environment of calm, with emotional self-control, & patience, in so as to have time to think if need be before making a decision. Yet this is all easier said than done as humanity as I am all too aware remains vulnerable and imperfect.
How would I advise an unexpected stressful situation? I would advise the importance of creating an environment of calm, with emotional self-control, & patience, in so as to have time to think if need be before making a decision. Yet this is all easier said than done as humanity as I am all too aware remains vulnerable and imperfect.