Thursday 29 September 2016


This is a question we may ourselves regardless whilst searching for answers to justify our acts resulting from our own lack of comfort or peace of mind. Why does nothing ever seems to go right whenever I might or ‘might not’ make a decision? Why do I often feel so disappointed, either with myself or with others? Why am I not rich? Why do I feel so unhappy in my job or even hate my job? Why am I unable to fulfill a long lasting loving relationship or end up watching online pornography? All this online stuff and the drink? Why do I hate myself? Why am I so often angry, get manipulated or abused or feel walked over? Why am I emotionally void or physically in so much pain? The drugs. Why are they prescribing them to me? This dark tunnel where I am longing to see some light. This vicious circle which continues to torment me, this Jekyll and Hyde in me is pulling me into a bottomless pit. Why is this happening? Why do I even exist? I don’t understand, it’s just not fair and sometimes I can’t take it anymore…..

Are these fearful questions ?   Of  course they are.

I make no claim as some miraculous guru who expects to give answers to such deep and potentially alarming questions, nor will I do myself justice to make any attempt to.  Yet in some cases immediate answers and help will be required to those who sadly might feel deeply unhappy or close to being either mentally, emotionally, spiritually or physically broken. Is our Google screen or our virtual world really the solution? Maybe we can tackle this differently as the question  'why' as so often the case is to do with something that has already happened and in this instance most likely connected to our past shames, our erroneous ways or harmful acts that we might be aware or unaware. Let’s break this down in to three letters.  W.H.Y.

W can stand for WAIT…..

If we wait rather than seeking immediate answers, or acting on impulse or even running, the answers will come. In time the truth and of the unknown linked to our past will always bear fruit at various times in our own lifetime. Patience is a great virtue worth living for that can help us to cope and bring out of us a sense of calm and self-control. If we wait diligently, we will find a way of living that is more humanly sustainable for long lasting and inner happiness.

H can stand for HOPE…..

Hope is a form of longing to live for something greater, something positive, and simply getting there. A deep desire to attain total happiness almost deservingly so. Here we can learn to trust too, not just in ourselves and others but into something greater than just ourselves. This way this hope that we carry and ingrained in us, can keep us going. Eventually something or someone will help us to reach our aspirations, out of our discouragement and into a type of solace that can eventually inspire us to act in the right way and all will be ok…….always.

Y can stand for YIELD....

Yield is a form of giving way as we potentially make that step, and submit ourselves as we recognise our faults then learn to accept. We surrender ourselves, our bad habits, our past wrongs, and our shames.  We will feel totally vulnerable. A fear we can overcome as we put down our arms and lay bare.

I knew an individual in business who suffered his own ‘depression’ some 8 years ago. It was just something in him saying that something was not right, and that he had had to change in his acts. He recognised he had been an arrogant person and had been a ‘taker’ for too long, leading a callous lifestyle of instantaneous gratification for short term thrills in business and in private often correlated with sex, money and power or status. He had submitted defeat in his fears of losing his inner and outer battles after eventually being broken and  having his aspirations crushed. A long solitary painful cry went out....W.H.Y?

And then it came, together with outside help, a mysterious and yet glorious gentle touch of love even mercy that picked him out from the bottom of that pitfall of mud and of despair. Following many sorrows, he had found his way back up into something greater. He had found a key, a key that had unlocked him, into his genuine self and his life started to transform professionally, socially and privately. It took great humility. He became a true Man. 

In short let’s try to refrain ourselves from the question ‘why’ to all our problems, wrong doings or mistakes, instead over time continue to hope, and submitting all and accepting all. Once we learn to accept, we can overcome them and instead ask ourselves, what is it that I must do in order to solve this or that burden I carry? What is it that I must change to overcome my own weaknesses? Where in myself can I make an effort to act differently? What is it that I must do to find forgiveness for the harm, not just for what I have done to myself but also for what others have done to me?

Once we find the key, who knows? I suspect another world will treat you differently, and give you another chance. It may present to you with problems and great challenges  for you to solve and opportunities for you to dive into, drawing onto your own real expertise, renewed talents and skills with greater clarity, courage, and joy.

Aide-toi et le ciel t’aidera